What is in a name?

I have a name. My name is Cassandra. I have lots of other titles and hats that I wear. I am a daughter. I am a granddaughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a South Dakotan. I am a seminarian. I am a graduate student. I am a child of God. Yet, in all of these situations I am still Cassandra.

Those of you who know me well know that I do not like titles. I am not someone who wants to eventually be called "Pastor Lamb." Sometimes I don't even want to be called "Pastor Cassandra." I am reminded more and more why I don't like these titles. These titles are easily shortened. Instead of having a name your name becomes "Pastor."

For this year of internship my title is "Vicar." Some people call me "Vicar Lamb." Others call me "Vicar Cassandra." And some people even call me "Cassandra." Yet my title is easily shortened and very quickly my name becomes "Vicar." It is not people's fault that they shorten my name like this. It is very easily done.

The other day I was at work and got a phone call. I should have known they were a telemarketer when they asked for "Vigar." I corrected them and explained that my name is "Cassandra" and I am the "Vicar" at this congregation.

My parent's gave me a name at my birth. Now there is no real story or reasoning behind my name. Yet, it is still my name. And, quite frankly, I like my name. It is unique. It is hard to spell. Sometimes it is even mispronounced. However, mispronunciation and misspelling bother me a whole lot less than losing my name all together. I have a name. My name is Cassandra.

A Heavy Heart

There are several different blog posts that are on my mind, because I have some catching up to do. Yet, this one I can't stop thinking about.

I have a heavy heart. Death does that to me. I think death does that to a lot of people. This past weekend my brother's college roommate died. A 22 year old whose life was ended far too early. Yes, I knew this young man. We went to the same school when we were growing up, but we were not close friends or anything. Regardless, this hits close to home. This impacts my brother. This impacts my community. And this impacts me.

And I just can't seem to shake it. I think it is because each death brings up every other death I have ever experienced in my life. And even though I believe in the resurrection and eternal life it still isn't easy. Even though I am a candidate for ordained ministry in the church and I have a faith lens with which to view the situation of death, my heart is still heavy.

I can't help but think of these words from Third Day. "To everyone who's lost someone they love, long before it was their time. You feel like the days you had were not enough, when you said goodbye." -- "Cry out to Jesus." That is what I am doing this night. Me and my heavy heart, we, are crying out to Jesus.

The Top 10 of 2010!

1. I rung in 2010 in Time Square in NYC. It was a great (likely) one time event for me. It is a bit rediculous to stand in the huge crowd of people for several hours on end just to see a ball, that really doesn't look that big, drop, what appears to be a relatively short distance. Regardless, of how bad my feet hurt or how lame it really seemed after standing for so long, it was a cool experience.









2. I was privileged to spend part of January traveling in Nicaragua and Honduras. The people I met there were some of the most hospitable people I have ever met. They would give up their bed, their food, and anything else they had to offer to make us feel welcome. It was truly a moving experience of God's presence made manifest in God's people.






3. I spent spring break in Ocean City, NJ with two great friends. It was so great to relax and get away for a bit. We also made a stop in Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell and have a Philly Cheesesteak.













4. Since I had a few months at home, I went on a few mini-vacations. My mom and I went to Omaha and tried our luck at some casinos. My friend Brandi and I went to Minneapolis for a little bit of shopping and to see Footloose at the Chanhassen Dinner Theater.












5. This summer I was able to attend the 120th Anniversary of Good Hope Lutheran, my home congregation. It was so special to celebrate the ministry that has happened in that place over the past 120 years and the ministry that will continue to happen in that place.













6. While I was in SD this past summer I got to spend several weeks at camp. I was reminded just how much that place/those places mean to me. It is absolutely amazing to be in God's creation, with wonderful staff and inspiring young people.








7. This year was filled with weddings! Angie and Jesse. Tracy and Marc. Melissa and Billy. Brandi and Casey. It was an absolute joy to see these four couples enter into wedded bliss. I was especially honored to officiate at Angie and Jesse's wedding. Being the Maid of Honor and standing next to my beautiful best friend, Brandi, on the biggest day of her life was also an honor and delight.






8. At the end of July I began a year-long internship at a church in Washington, DC. It has been an interesting experience learning about how the church operates in a large city. It has also be a wonderful experience to work in God's kingdom each day.









9. Living in DC has given me the chance to do a lot of touristing in the city. I have been to the Natural History Museum, Air and Space Museum, American History Museum, The National Zoo, the Capital, the White House Gardens and Grounds, the National Cathedral, and The National Christmas Tree.








10. As always I am blessed with a great family and some incredible friends that have made 2010 a wonderful year. Here's to 2011!

The Month of November in Review

1. My Best Friend's Wedding. At the beginning of the month I traveled to South Dakota for Brandi and Casey's wedding. It was such an honor to stand next to my friend Brandi in a beautiful white dress as she married a wonderful man. This was the first "friend" wedding that I have ever been in and it was truly a blessing to be the Maid of Honor in this wedding. A lot of pastors talk about how they like funerals more than weddings, but at this point in my vocational journey I am almost positive that I will like weddings more than funerals.

2. Time At Home. Over the years I have learned to adjust to new places to call "home." Yet, it still isn't the same as being in a place that is really my home-home. It was absolutely wonderful to sleep in my bed, to shower in my shower, and drive in my town, to look out my window, to shop in my favorite stores, and to be in the same place as my family. Even though it was a very busy time...it was still wonderful to be HOME.

3. My First Sinus Infection. After I came home from South Dakota I started to get sick. I had never had a sinus infection, so I didn't even consider that the symptoms I was having were related to a sinus infection. So after letting myself continue to get even sicker, I decided to go to a doctor. The first doctor, yes I ended up at more than one, though I had pneumonia. She sent me to an urgent care. The second doctor took one look at me and said that I had a sinus infection. The medicine seems to be helping and I am starting to feel much better. Once again I am reminded how hard it is to be so far away from the people who will take care of you when you are sick.

4. My First Time Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner. On Thanksgiving I was blessed by the presence of Diane, Andrew, and Katie. I managed to prepare a turkey breast, stuffing, squash, cheesy potatoes, and a caramel apple cheesecake without burning the house down or even setting off the fire alarm. It was so great to surrounded by friends on a day filled with much Thanksgiving!

5. Visits With Friends. Diane spent the night and on Friday morning we had a pizza lunch at Pete's, which was incredible, and went to the movie Tangled in 3-D. I learned that 3-D movies freak me out a bit...I tend to duck at flying objects. Then Diane headed back to Alabama. On Saturday Matt stopped by for a quick visit on his way back to Virginia, too. It was so great to spend time with friends!

6. A New Year. Yes, one church year has ended and today another one began. Today is the First Sunday of Advent and we begin preparing for the coming of Jesus, both a babe born in Bethlehem and the Savior of the World. As we prepare our homes for this holiday season may we also prepare our hearts for the unexpected promise of Jesus Christ the Hope of the Nations and the Light of the World. If you would like to read my sermon for the First Sunday in Advent click here. Blessings to you this Advent season!

Hospitality

For the past week I hosted a pastor from Namibia. She was visiting different churches in our synod. I generally think of myself as a pretty hospitable person. I think hospitality is very important. However, I had never hosted someone in my own space for this length of time. I learned this week how difficult and draining hospitality can be. Hospitality requires that you are constantly on and are always chipper, cheery, and happy. It also requires that you are always ready to listen and answer questions.

I have been hosted by many wonderful people in my life and I wonder how they did it. I especially remember the wonderful couple that allowed me to live in their basement for 12 weeks while I completed my Clinical Pastoral Education unit. I know that I was not as thankful or as pleasant as I should or could have been. Yet, they continued to be my hosts.

I am sure that I did not do the best job possible being a host this week. I know I still have many things to learn when it comes to hospitality. And I came away from this week with a huge amount of gratitude for all the hosts I have had in my life. Thanks be to God for these wonderful blessings!

A Tourist

Today I was a tourist in the city I live in. I went to the Museum of Natural History. I am not much a museum fan, but I figured that while living in DC it is important to see the Smithsonian Museums. So, I spent about two hours looking at natural history. I didn't read every word, because that would have taken me days to do. I saw a huge elephant, dinosaur bones, lots of animals and insects, and minerals. I was surprised that I didn't see any stink bugs. They need to work on getting a special exhibit of them. I am even willing to help them out with a donation. The highlight of the adventure was probably the Hope Diamond. It was just as beautiful as I expected.
However, there were two other great parts of my adventure. Number one. I saw a really diverse group of people. I heard people talking in many different languages. I saw inspired and awe-filled children learning. I saw parent's interpreting the displays for their children in the language they would best understand. This is a perk of living in Washington, DC. There is diversity. Number two. I achieved a goal today. I went to a museum alone. I really like doing things with other people. However, the reality of life is that sometimes we have to do things alone. I am not going to say it was a ton of fun to be alone, but I did have a good time at the museum. Today I stepped out...alone. And I am sure it will not be the last time.

The Party Planning Vicar

I love parties! I love people! I love hosting people! In DC I have a beautiful home and a wonderful basement/youth room (pool table included), so I knew immediately after arriving here that I would be hosting many parties. For the past three Sundays I have hosted parties/gatherings. SPY - the high school youth group was invited over for spaghetti and games. The young adult group came over for socializing and a potluck with the main dish being sloppy joes. SPY Jr. - the middle school youth group rounded out the social events with a pizza party and game night. This has been so much fun! There has been so much laughter, energy, fellowship, and food in my house in the past few weeks. I can confidently say that these are the people that I know in DC and at the congregation I am serving. This is why small group ministry is so important. It is not only important for me, a new vicar in a strange environment. It is important for these people. It is important to know other people and for other people to know you. It is important to be in fellowship and in community. It is important to gather around a table for food and drink. To me this is just another element of Eucharistic fellowship. As the party planner I am the host of the meal, graciously giving of what I have. The guests are the receivers, thankful for the gift given. That was the surprising part. My guests were so thankful. I expected some of them to say thank you -- but they were overwhelmingly thankful. To me this shows the importance of party planning -- the importance of fellowship -- the importance of hospitality. Thanks be to God for modeling the ultimate hospitality -- the ultimate fellowship -- the ultimate party planning!