I have a name. My name is Cassandra. I have lots of other titles and hats that I wear. I am a daughter. I am a granddaughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a South Dakotan. I am a seminarian. I am a graduate student. I am a child of God. Yet, in all of these situations I am still Cassandra.
Those of you who know me well know that I do not like titles. I am not someone who wants to eventually be called "Pastor Lamb." Sometimes I don't even want to be called "Pastor Cassandra." I am reminded more and more why I don't like these titles. These titles are easily shortened. Instead of having a name your name becomes "Pastor."
For this year of internship my title is "Vicar." Some people call me "Vicar Lamb." Others call me "Vicar Cassandra." And some people even call me "Cassandra." Yet my title is easily shortened and very quickly my name becomes "Vicar." It is not people's fault that they shorten my name like this. It is very easily done.
The other day I was at work and got a phone call. I should have known they were a telemarketer when they asked for "Vigar." I corrected them and explained that my name is "Cassandra" and I am the "Vicar" at this congregation.
My parent's gave me a name at my birth. Now there is no real story or reasoning behind my name. Yet, it is still my name. And, quite frankly, I like my name. It is unique. It is hard to spell. Sometimes it is even mispronounced. However, mispronunciation and misspelling bother me a whole lot less than losing my name all together. I have a name. My name is Cassandra.
3.16.2011
3.02.2011
A Heavy Heart
There are several different blog posts that are on my mind, because I have some catching up to do. Yet, this one I can't stop thinking about.
I have a heavy heart. Death does that to me. I think death does that to a lot of people. This past weekend my brother's college roommate died. A 22 year old whose life was ended far too early. Yes, I knew this young man. We went to the same school when we were growing up, but we were not close friends or anything. Regardless, this hits close to home. This impacts my brother. This impacts my community. And this impacts me.
And I just can't seem to shake it. I think it is because each death brings up every other death I have ever experienced in my life. And even though I believe in the resurrection and eternal life it still isn't easy. Even though I am a candidate for ordained ministry in the church and I have a faith lens with which to view the situation of death, my heart is still heavy.
I can't help but think of these words from Third Day. "To everyone who's lost someone they love, long before it was their time. You feel like the days you had were not enough, when you said goodbye." -- "Cry out to Jesus." That is what I am doing this night. Me and my heavy heart, we, are crying out to Jesus.
I have a heavy heart. Death does that to me. I think death does that to a lot of people. This past weekend my brother's college roommate died. A 22 year old whose life was ended far too early. Yes, I knew this young man. We went to the same school when we were growing up, but we were not close friends or anything. Regardless, this hits close to home. This impacts my brother. This impacts my community. And this impacts me.
And I just can't seem to shake it. I think it is because each death brings up every other death I have ever experienced in my life. And even though I believe in the resurrection and eternal life it still isn't easy. Even though I am a candidate for ordained ministry in the church and I have a faith lens with which to view the situation of death, my heart is still heavy.
I can't help but think of these words from Third Day. "To everyone who's lost someone they love, long before it was their time. You feel like the days you had were not enough, when you said goodbye." -- "Cry out to Jesus." That is what I am doing this night. Me and my heavy heart, we, are crying out to Jesus.
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